I was having some coffee with a couple of friends, and as the conversation progressed, I mentioned that a newly-wed friend of mine, who used to be one of the most conservative spenders I know, became much more willing to spend money on his wife after getting married. I am not a "gifts" person, and I have never been able to understand how buying an object, which will eventually disintegrate, is portraying love. But thanks to the conversation over coffee, I now have a better understanding of how gifts and love work together. To me, I always thought gifts were materialistic and superficial. But what I have come to realize is that it is not the actually gift that is important, but the time and effort put into selection of the gift. This logically makes more sense to me. After reflecting on this conversation later in the day, I came to realized that in my brain i had placed both "Materialism" and "Gifts" in the same category, and can be further explained by my experience on 91 hour airplane trip home for Christmas.
I hate Christmas. I believe that it is a Christianized Pagan holiday, in which businesses utilize "generosity" to make profits. I like the celebration of Christmas, I really do enjoy the time with my family, but what bothers me about the holiday is that businesses exploit it and twist the meaning of "giving," in order to thicken their own wallets. I came across this realization during a full day's layover in San Fransisco. I was returning home to Japan for the Winter break, and as a result of a four hour delay from snow in Virginia, I eventually ended up in San Fransisco. I arrived at SFO friday night at 2000, but my flight did not leave until 11 am on Sunday. Because I had a whole Saturday in San Fransisco, I decided to explore the city. Taking the Bay Area Rapid Transit (or BART), I left the SFO airport, and arrived at Union Square. I was amazed at the city. There were so many people. It was the first time in my life I was surrounded by people, yet felt so alone. While absorbing the culture, and people, and rush of Union Square, I eventually came a across a HUGE Christmas Tree. As I got a closer look to the Tree, dragged from the Shasta mountains in Northern CA, I found out that it was provided for by Macy's (this is part of the reason i hate Christmas. Businesses support some sort of public display for publicity, and to suck people in to buying more stuff at their store, but i digress.) Sitting down in a chair wet from rain water, I observed. I first noticed the seven story Macy's across the street. I noticed that everyone seemed to be in a hurry. They were carrying boxes and bags, all trying to get their Christmas shopping done, after all, it was the last weekend before Christmas. As I sat and watched the hustle and bustle, I had a revelation. Seeing all of these people stressing out to find their husband the perfect gift, or the game their child could not live with out, I became cynical of all gift giving. I related both the joy of sharing a special gift and the materialism of Christmas into one united idea. I looked around at all of Union Square shoppers, and in my pride and self-righteousness, I had decided that i was not going to be like them. I was not going to continue this materialistic way of looking at love. The businesses were not going to get my money. But the problem was they already had. I bought my whole family Christmas gifts sitting in my suitcase (which i dont know where it was, somewhere between Virginia and Tokyo.) At that moment I decided that I was going to change it. I was not going to let business control my life. By refusing to be transformed by gift giving i thought that i was hurting the business. I was kicking it down, and rubbing sand in its eyes.
It was through the conversation with my friend, that I began to re-evaluate my preconceived ideas about gifts. Although I still do not understand gifts completely, I have a more completed view about how love (the immaterial) and giving away of a certain object (the material) both coexist.
Life should always be examined from different perspectives, because sometimes, just sometimes, you might realize that your perspective is the wrong perspective.
No comments:
Post a Comment